here's the back story:
Meet man on online dating site. look at picture: full head of hair, nice teeth (does it sound like i'm picking out a dog?) - decide you will email said man. Email him. exchange a few emails, talk on the phone (note - has a very masculine voice - bonus points) and agree to meet (see Spark - scenario 1).
Arrive at location, and see well dressed man in jeans and sport jacket. He turns around - nice. Full head of hair, nice teeth. Good boy.
proceed into date...realize that your hands are sweaty and you are wondering if he can see that. He appears unaware that you are incessantly wringing your hands and playing with your hair (note to self later - perhaps he was just too polite to say anything).
Enter delicate phase of date: you have to eat and drink in front of one another. Realize quickly that this date is cultured, quite refined. I decide (in error) that I can play on this field. I enjoy a martini - try to make small talk and realize I am stammering. Try to regain some semblance of control, search for words and end up resorting to Serena tip #1: how to scare off a potential match? resort to jokes. Did I mention that he was refined? Perhaps, the best thing wasn't to tell him about the time I propositioned two men for a threesome? I know what you're thinking - wtf? who does that? and my question to myself later: wtf? who does that?! Uh, apparently - that would be me. Allow me to explain :The 'threesome experiment' was for the benefit of my girlfriend. True story - she had just been dumped and was feeling down, we were out at a club (many moons ago - I am too old for these now) and she insisted that women have no power, and I said we do too, we can get pretty much anything as long as we are confident...and to prove my point - I approached two strange men. They were shocked, surprised - and even laughed as my friend and I revealed the rationale. They whole heartedly agreed with me - women do indeed have power. My intent was not to have a threesome, my intent was to show my friend that a little confidence allows you to do things/say things - even if they're shocking and off the wall - and get away with it, plus it opens the door.
I like shocking people...apparently not a good thing to do on a refined date.
Let's get back to that date, shall we? I am smart enough to realize my blunder, but not smart enough to avoid adding to it. I then proceeded to babble...incessantly. It's strange: I recalled that I was listening to him speak, looking into his blue eyes (which were hot btw) and then there was this annoying chirpy sound that interrupted him. It grew louder and louder, then it repeated itself - (oh, those are words?), a high pitched voice and a twittery laugh...where was that coming from?...YOU know where it was coming from - that's right, Serena with full blown First Date Verbal Diarrhea.
I am still not sure why he stayed on the date (it lasted about 4 hours). Maybe he thought I would say something redeeming, who knows. He was a gentleman though - walked me to my car and even gave me a hug with the obligatory "i'll call you" which he didn't. I even gave him a little peck on his cheek (I thought he sort of chuckled at that, but really - looking back, I think he recoiled and grimaced).
Is it too much for me to ask for a Do Over? It's not my pride that keeps me from calling,texting or emailing, it's just I can't think of how I could possibly redeem myself. Addicted to crack and I was coming down? no, that won't work. I have split personalities and the one with the Sexual Turrets showed up? no, I'm sure he's heard that before. I guess I'll just have to accept that some things can't be undone and hopefully i've learned my lesson: Sharing Threesome Experiment is a second date story.
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