standing up to comedy

There's nothing quite like the exhillaration I feel when I get on that little stage. I drink in the atmosphere - the smell of beer or other forms of alcohol, the eager upturned faces, the whispered comments and the unavoidable young woman at the front with her arms crossed, her eyebrows drawn together - almost daring me to entertain her.

Yah - I know, it sounds like I'm a stripper, but hey - when you're over 30 (this I will admit to and thank you to my sister who is not setting you straight), that is definitely NOT an option. you're welcome, btw:)

No, it's a different kind of stage and one that requires a number of my faculties to be firing at the same time. It's the stage of stand up comedy and one that I have grown to love, adore, and admire. I love the feeling of being up there, sharing my views and looking for that connection with the audience and maybe, just maybe, getting them to laugh.

It's an art - and one that I am just learning. And thankfully, I don't have to try to do it alone. There's uber-support here in Calgary - a stand up comedy community that is so supportive and a group of people I truly admire. People who have been doing this for years and are willing to share their experiences with you - the ups, the downs, the pitfalls and everything in between.

I would like to take credit for taking the plunge into this world, but to be truthful, what inspired me to finally get up and give it a try (after writing it for 20 some odd years!) was not me, it was just a man. A man (sorry ladies, I know this is hitting close to the feminist bone, but please give me a chance!) who for all intensive purposes, is useless to me now (see? I told you, feminist-types - wait for it!)

A few years back, I met a man and fell in love. A man who proved to not be who I thought he was, and so the relationship came to an end, but not before we were able to go out on an outing - to a little comedy club here in Calgary called 'Comedy Cave'. There, we sat amongst his coworkers, enjoying a meal, sitting in the dark, staring at a stage where comics bravely ventured and worked their magic to make us all laugh. And laugh I did. I had a great time. In the car, on the way home, I talked about my admiration for stand up comics, how I had always wanted to try it, and how I had once written a routine, practiced it and practiced it, put my name in for an amateur night, but when the time came - I chickened out. I also shared that my friend had gone up and done my routine (since she had sat and listened to my practicing it - rather painfully, I might add - and so felt she knew it too). I remember that night quite well (even including the fact that I had downed a few beer in preparation for my stage time), and I remember that even though the timing of the jokes wasn't what I liked, that people laughed...and I was content with that...

For 20 years. Until I was sitting in the car, on the way home with this man that I thought I loved, and thought loved me as well. When I shared that I had always wanted to try it, he guffawed, snorted and said: 'you can't do that...you're not funny.' We finished the drive in silence. And silently, it ate away at me.

So - fast forward a year later, with that relationship having gone up in flames, ashes still smoldering, and me thinking that I needed to move on, my mind found its way inexplicably back to that car ride - and back to his 'you can't do it' and I thought to myself: "oh yes, I can."

And I did. February 14, 2011 - I hit the stage and tasted that first tinge of freedom, that first bubble of champagne-like excitement and realized I was standing up.

For comedy. For me. And damn it.. I was funny.

the power of words

Do you remember your first word? I don't remember the first word I ever spoke, but I do remember the first word I ever spoke on stage. It was "hi" Probably not the most powerful word out there, but kind of a natural one when you're making an introduction. I'd like to think my subsequent words have had an impact, and I suppose they have - well, at least for me. I am still doing stand up comedy so that says something.
But this got me thinking. About words. They're pretty powerful.
How about this: do you remember the first time someone (other than your mom) said "I love you"? It's pretty powerful - and can send you to the moon - especially if you feel the same way about them.
it's a whole lot different though, when someone says that to you and you don't feel that way. then the powerful word of that moment is 'AWKWARD'. This happened to me once. After he said it, I found myself trying to find a way to get out of the car without his knowing, and without hurting his feelings. That was awkward, and the more I tried to find the 'powerful' words to let him know I didn't feel the same way, the more awkward the situation got. As you might have guessed, he doesn't have much to do with me these days.
But, to be fair, I have also been in his situation. I was dating a guy that I thought was special (oh, he was special all right - especially two-timing). I remember that perfect moment:
We had just finished another perfect kiss. I was aware that my heart was hammering loudly, and how his breath smelled, how soft his lips were, and as he pulled his face away, and I looked into his blue eyes and those dark lashes, I was overwhelmed with the very sense of him. How much I was aware of him, and how much I wanted this moment to go on and on forever. And then I said it, that overwhelming feeling that started in the pit of my stomach as butterflies, spread through my hammering chest and out my lips in an expression of warmth and love as I breathed out "I love you." I looked in his eyes, and saw as the words registered there. He was shocked. suprised. stupefied. He stared at me, and I stared back and in that moment (that eternally long moment)I waited for his response, and as his eyes looked deeper and deeper into mine, I felt the uptake of his breath, and then he said it: "that's nice."
I think about that now and it still makes me smile. A romantic moment ruined by the power of words:)